Kaylee Muthart pictured with her prosthetic eyes. (Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
In a horrifying incident, a woman tragically clawed out her own eyes outside a church believing she could “see the light”.
Kaylee Muthart was rendered blind after a methamphetamine-fuelled psychotic breakdown in which she was convinced the shocking act of self-harm would rescue the world and draw her nearer to God.
The former model pupil who had even secured a place in the National Honour Society was merely 20 when she obliterated her vision in February 2018 – just days before she was due to enter rehabilitation at her mother’s urging.
After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder that year, alongside recovering from a mental collapse and coping with a heartbreaking split – Kaylee’s existence spiralled downwards on the fateful date of February 6, 2018.
With addiction running in her family, Kaylee had originally steered clear of hard substances, however she abandoned education at 17, hoping to earn money for university, reports the Mirror.
Kaylee’s mum said she started using meth unintentionally (Image: Facebook)
Regrettably, she became involved with the wrong people and at 19, gave in to the substance abuse she had fought so desperately to avoid after inhaling a cannabis cigarette contaminated with methamphetamine.
The crucial day that permanently transformed her existence saw Kaylee allegedly consume a larger-than-usual quantity of meth – a final celebration before abandoning the lethal addiction.
What ensued was a drug-induced hallucination, which convinced her she needed to meet someone at the church in her condition.
During her journey, a friend she was lodging with drove by and called out: “I locked up the house. Do you have the other key?” Kaylee reportedly interpreted this as a call for “sacrifice”.
Kaylee Muthart pictured after she gouged her own eyes out (Image: SWNS)
Speaking to Cosmopolitan, she said: “I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me. I don’t know how I came to that conclusion, but I felt it was, without doubt, the right, rational thing to do immediately. I got on my hands and knees, pounding the ground and praying, ‘Why me? Why do I have to do this?'”.
She added: “I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket – it felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do.”
Following Kaylee’s discovery screaming “I want to see the light”, a pastor rushed to help her.
She believes she would have eventually clawed her way into her brain had the pastor not heard her.
She said: “He [the pastor] later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands. I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head.”
Kaylee was then rushed to hospital where it took seven individuals to restrain her whilst doctors removed the remnants of her eyes to preserve her optic nerves and prevent infection.
Kaylee Muthart in hospital (Image: SWNS)
Speaking exclusively to the Daily Star in 2023, Kaylee revealed her horrifying experience ultimately prompted her to abandon drugs and pursue sobriety with extraordinary determination. Her newfound resolve led her to master braille and various technologies, eventually landing her a job at a Florida eatery where she worked as a dishwasher.
She was also on course to receive her high school diploma from Penn Foster, with aspirations of attending university to study neurobiology.
Speaking to the Star about life after losing her sight, Kaylee said: “Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness. Even when you are blind it is not dark. I visualise like silhouettes of what I think is there.”
Kaylee Muthart before she gouged out her own eyes (Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
Despite wearing prosthetic eyes, Kaylee managed to maintain a positive attitude towards her situation, telling the publication: “Sometimes I think it’s a blessing that I am blind because even nowadays, if I ever do get a drug craving, which is very little, but in addiction when you have used the needle, you imagine the blood going into the syringe and that is an eyesight temptation.
“You can’t really do it blind, you could do it I’m sure, but I don’t know if it would be smart.”
Earlier this year, speaking to the Mirror, Kaylee revealed she had lost her job at the restaurant last December, however, she remained hopeful and optimistic about finding another job.
Kaylee Muthart in hospital (Image: SWNS)
Despite her blindness, devout Christian Kaylee remains steadfast in her ambition to achieve great things in life. Speaking to the Mirror, she said: “My hopes for the future are big. I will be starting a non-profit to help all of God’s creations (to aid with addiction recovery and mental health challenges).
“I will be motivational speaking at as many places as possible to share my story. I hope to one day play every instrument known to man but in the near future I will be continuing to learn guitar and piano and starting the drums.”
Even after facing setbacks such as losing her job, Kaylee’s optimism has never faltered. She has always maintained that she would choose blindness over drug dependency.
